|
NAME OF OFFENDER (Bass Player)
_______________________
INFRACTION DATE
_______________________
MUSICAL OFFENSES
[ ] Playing loudly during warm up
$10
[ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[ ] Loud cursing after mistake
$10
[ ] Playing high and fast after mistake
$20
[ ] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note
$25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[ ] Playing written-out walking line
$50
[ ] Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[ ] Playing eighth notes
$5 each
[ ] Playing sixteenth notes
$10 each
[ ] Playing above 1st octave
immediate dismissal
[ ] Dragging fast tempo
$75
[ ] Dragging ballad tempo
$100
[ ] Blacking out during ballad
$200
[ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo
$100
[ ] Following drummer's tempo
$250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000
UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[ ] Showing up before first downbeat
$25
[ ] Playing audibly
$25
[ ] Faking changes
$25
[ ] Slapping
$150
[ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[ ] Excessive sweating
$25
[ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[ ] Asking leader for a solo
$30
[ ] Accepting solo when offerred
$50
[ ] Taking second chorus
$100
[ ] Playing solo arco
$400
[ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune
$100
[ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
[ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune
$500
ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ] Checking hair between tunes
$15
[ ] Experimenting with odd meters
$25
[ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill
$25
[ ] Playing with a pick
$50
[ ] Tuning during ballad
$30
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba
$75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad
$150
[ ] Attempting last word on final chord
$50
[ ] Achieving last word on final chord
$100
[ ] Long gliss down to final note
$200
EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap
$10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[ ] Using electric tuner
$15
[ ] Setting up mic "just in case"
$75
[ ] Forgetting to turn amp on
$40
[ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip
$50
[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above
4
[ ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass
$150
[ ] Bringing fretless bass
$500
CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get
$10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ] Sitting behind drums on break
$10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland"
$25
[ ] Practicing scales during break
$25
[ ] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[ ] Practicing
$150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..."
$50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater
that you are "into sequencing" $100
BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt
$10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt
$20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts
$20
[ ] Continually asking "where are we?"
$25
[ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!"
$25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is
$50
[ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's $100
|
DRUMMER'S REAL NAME:
_______________________________
(other than "sticks", "backbeat", "snake",
"drowned-out" ... etc.)
DATE OF OFFENSE(S): _____ / _____ / _____
Setup / Equipment Offenses:
(1) Brings a 36" bass drum.....................$15
[2] Has more than one bass drum.....................$100.
[3] Brings a 10" deep snare (for a solid back beat)........$50.
[4] Brings more than 2 mounted toms ....................$25.
[5] Has a tubular chrome bar that holds all his mounted
toms................$50.
[6] Brings more than one floor tom.....................$25.
[7] Brings more than one crash cymbal ......................$25.
[8] Doesn't bring a ride cymbal......................$250.
[9] Brings a 46" Chinese gong (for big endings)...................$75.
[10] Brings two timpani (for really big endings)..................$100.
[11] Doesn't bring any brushes....................$300.
[12] Has a hi-hat that is welded shut....................$250.
[13] Asks leader where he can plug in his headphones................$200.
[14] Wears old black Nike sneakers on tux gig...............$50.
[15] Tunes snare drum during the benediction...............$175.
Playing Offenses:
[1] Plays eighth note rock ballad style on "Stardust".............$150.
[2] Pretends to read chart with big band....................$25.
[3] Actually reads drum part for big band (note for note)...............$200.
[4] Asks bass player "Where are we?" on "Happy
Birthday"...............$100.
[5] Plays disco beat on "A Train"..................$200.
[6] Takes fours on "The Bride Cuts the Cake"...............$100.
[7] Takes a break when the leader says "A request for Take
5"...........$25.
[8] Actually tries to play on "Take 5"..................$150.
[9] Asks leader what brushes are..................$250.
[10] Plays breaks in "Cute" with sticks...................$50.
[11] Plays breaks in "Cute" on timpani..................$100.
[12] Plays breaks in "Cute" on Chinese gong..................$250.
Other Miscellaneous Offenses:
[1] Mentions to host that "DJs are the wave of the future"......$100.
[2] Is first in line at the party's buffet................$50.
[3] Asks where the "go away bags" are at the buffet
line......$100.
[4] Asks the bartender for 3 "Purple Shooters".................$50.
[5] Says to the bride "You've got a nice set of hooters"........$25.
[6] Says to the bride's mother "Hey this is a f#%*in' good
party"......$150.
[7] Is ten minutes late for the next set.............$25.
[8] Is twenty minutes late for the next set.............$10.
[9] Never shows up for the next set.........$1.
|